Read Around the Rainbow | How to Romance a Romance Writer

It’s Read Around the Rainbow time, which means we’ll have a bunch of new blog posts written on the same topic by queer ROMANCE authors. 

In a blink of an eye we’ll be in February, and in February, we’ll find our favourite holiday *snort* I’m talking about Valentine’s Day, and maybe someone needs a few hints, a few suggestions, a few ideas. Maybe your valentine is a romance writer. In that case, I’m sure some of my fellow colleagues will be happy to help you because you won’t get any tips here 😆

How to Romance a Romance Writer

That’s what we’re talking about today, and I’m afraid you won’t find a less romantic person than me. But Holly you write a romance story a month!

It’s an illusion, people! There isn’t a grain of romance in real-life me. I’ve never, not once, asked my husband out on a date. I never surprise him with gifts or dinners or parties or whatever. 

I never remember our wedding day.

We got married without telling anyone. I wore black, and my hair was in a messy bun, still wet from the shower. We had an appointment at the courthouse, and the ceremony was supposed to start at twelve. When the clock struck twelve – there is a large clock on the courthouse in Falkenberg where we got married – we were already pronounced husband and wife. No rings were exchanged, no vowes. We hadn’t planned on ever getting married, but our son was one month old, and we’d received a heap of papers where we both had to solemnly swear that my husband was the father of our child. 

Had we been married we wouldn’t have to fill out the papers.

You’d think Sweden is a progressive country, we sure like to think so, but the ones making the laws still very much think it’s best when you’re married. So stupid.

It wasn’t the only reason we got married. The doctors had told me that I most likely wouldn’t be able to get more children, and we wanted more than one, so we figured adoption was our next step. And as mentioned above, they want you to be married if you’re gonna have a child together.

I got off track. If you haven’t guessed, I hate weddings. Both to attend – please don’t invite me because I still haven’t come up with a polite way to say no – and to get married. I mean, we survived our wedding without lasting scars (The same can’t be said for our wedding night. There were scars and ER visits, and my son and I got to go in an ambulance with some very polite paramedics. We were unsure of the way to the hospital in Gothenburg, and in Varberg where we’d gone, they didn’t have a paediatric surgeon. So the ambulance paramedic offered to drive us since they’d dropped a patient off and were heading back to the hospital), but I wouldn’t do it again. I’ve never dreamt of weddings or dresses or rings or flowers or whatever. It’s nonsense that society pushes on little girls so they can grow up to be good little wives and not create too big waves 🤢 Aaaand to push the heteronormative norm on everyone.

Riiight… romance you say. Seriously, buy me Djungelvrål (salty liquorice) and some red wine, and we’re good. Clean my kitchen too, and I’ll love you forever. 

Check out what the others have to say!

Ally Lester
Nell Iris
Ofelia Grand
Fiona Glass
Ellie Thomas
K. L. Noone
Addison Albright

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